My heart is racing. I'm swiveling in my chair, feet tapping on the ground, unsure if I could do what I knew I had to do. My hands are shaking, and I'm letting out big sighs with every other breath. I'm nervous. I'm scared. Finally, I work up the courage to get out of my chair and take that first step. We'll dive into what this step was in just a bit.
Jumping into the unknown is not easy. Do you remember as a child being nervous climbing the steps of the diving board at the local pool? Butterflies building in your stomach as you walk towards the edge. You look down, and it seems like the water is miles away.
There are moments like this in our walk with the Lord. He takes us to the edge of a diving board and tells us to jump into the waters below. Let's get real here. How many immediately say, "Got it, bombs away"? I'm guessing not a lot, myself included. Instead, I go into journalism mode. "Why do I have to jump?", "What proof do you have that jumping is the right move to make?" or the oh so popular, "But no one else is jumping, why should I?" His response is simple, "Candi, trust me".
Throughout scripture, the Lord calls on His children to do things that don't always make sense. The whole "live by faith, not by sight" comes into play (2 Corinthians 5:7). Let's look at one of the most famous scary steps in the Bible. The Israelites are running for their lives from Pharoah (Exodus 14:16). They get to the edge of the Red Sea, not knowing how they would survive the onslaught of Egyptians closing in. Then, the Lord splits the water in two, creating a path only He can create. The Israelites walked by faith as they took those steps through the dry path as God's mighty hand held the massive waves back from overtaking them. That's scary!
I also think about Ruth. After her husband's death, she left everything she was familiar with to follow her mother-in-law, Naomi, and live in a foreign land. While she could have taken the easy steps of returning to her people, she went against the grain and begged Naomi to let her stay saying, "Let your people be my people, your God my God" (Ruth 1:16). She jumped headfirst into Naomi's way of living without giving it a second thought. Bold steps of faith!
That leads me back to that step I needed to take. After months of prayers, my husband and I decided now was the time for me to leave my job. I spent more than 15 years working in the news industry as a producer and Executive Producer. Working in the news industry is a 24/7 gig. It's a high-stress, full-time, demanding job. Add in a global pandemic and a year filled with civil unrest, my work schedule led to long days, long weekends, and 100% of my attention. However, this level of commitment came with a price.
Our hearts are yearning to have a family. We want to fill that empty third bedroom with sounds of a beautiful child. Having a baby is not easy for us. We have undergone fertility treatments and are currently working through the adoption process. We started the process in the beginning of 2020, but now 18 months later, our mission is far from complete. For months my husband and I debated if I should quit my job and redirect my attention from work to our growing family. Still, the same nagging question kept creeping up in my mind. Who logically quits their job during a pandemic?
As each month passed by and our debate of "should I or shouldn't I" continued, I felt the Lord pushing me to the edge of that diving board. I knew if I kept waiting without action, another year would go by, and our future nursery would remain dark and empty.
That leads me to the beginning of this story. I was a ball of nerves the day I turned in my notice. I kept wondering if we made the right decision and how everything would work out for us financially. After my boss told the staff, a co-worker sent me a sweet email that included the scripture below.
Proverbs 3:5-6;
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt a peace in my spirit, knowing we are committing this time to the Lord for our family to grow despite us not knowing what would happen.
Sometimes, the Lord pushes us to the edge of a decision, and there is no way out except to jump. Have you been there? Are you there right now? We can sit on the edge without moving for years. But, without jumping, you never know the blessings waiting below.
So, are you ready? Get set? Now, JUMP!
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